The doorway stood before him like an entrance into the future. As he approached the smell of ancient dust and electricity waffed up into his nose. He breathed an ancient air that had been trapped behind rock for many hundreds of years. He stepped through onto a shitty metal staircase. His vision automatically adjusted to the lower light conditions. He saw that the staircase descended what looked to him almost endlessly. Something in his brain told him to turn around, obeying this impulse he turned to see the door in which he entered through slam shut infront of him with a thundering boom. The sound echoed throughout the dark tunnel and gave away secrets of just how cavernous this place might be. His thoughts turned to the MCADM on the other side. Shrugging slightly he continued down the staircase.
Descending what had to have been 200 steps he finally came to an end of the stairs and into a hall that rivaled the biggest cathedrals built in the old age he no longer remembered. In the middle of the hall was a mechanical altar constructed out of old dusty forgotten machinery. He recognized what looked like pneumatic devices, possible diesel engines and other parts of what could only be identified to him as tesla coils. There was a book placed upon this altar. He stepped forward and opened to the first page.
“Hereth I stand, in the flesh of the earth, awaiting the divine knowledge of what was and what is. Howeth I wish for answers, howeth I ponder over what will become and what has already passed. I seek, therefore I am, and now I shall find. For I am here in the halls of the Oracle.”
Turning the next page, Mixon saw that the book, was not quite a book, but rather a contraption made to look like a book. Under the first page was a touchscreen with what he recognized as similar to his own PizzaOS system. In the middle was the silver triangle with the two J’s logo. Except this logo had been vandalized and below words were added, making the normal JJ logo read: “JJ iz FUCT”.
Mixon reached forward and touched the logo, and the screen went black. The smell of electricity is what hit him first. The next was the blinding light. He stepped back with an arm over his eyes and watched as the altar began to sink into the ground. From above the ceiling rumbled with an electronic earthquake. He heard generators deep below him spin up as the tesla coil looking devices started to spew arching blue bolts of electricity on the techno garbage around them. The veins of electricity started to arch to the ceiling as they increased with power and intensity. More and more of the tesla devices came on line surging their electricity towards the ceiling. At last what resembled a pentagram of light formed on the ceiling and in the center a man that looked like a marionette of countless wires and tubes began to descend from a black coffin. The power surge continued as the man, like that of some forgotten god, lowered to the ground. His feet gently found their footing and his head shot up. He seemed to wear a baseball cap with the brim pushed up. Across it was an LED display system that was scrolling the words: “DEATH IS EASY.”
The arcs of lighting now transfered to his face where two metal piercings in his lips anchored all of the electric energy. An electric scream escaped his lips as his eyes shot open and gazed directly into Mixon. ”BllleeerrrmmmmzzzZZZzZZZZzZzz!”
Mixon completely bored with the whole display, spoke first.
“Are you the Oracle?”
The wired marionete raised his arms so they shot straight up from his body and stopped the electricity surge. He wore glasses on his face, ripped jorts, and wore a Midnight City Pizza T-Shirt. His face carried ironic facial hair.
“Yes, I am. And you are Mixon. The famous pizza cook. You have come to seek knowledge, you have come to the right place. For I know all things.”
Mixon, studying the man carefully, realized he himself hadn’t known his own name until the Oracle had spoken it. He looked again at the bill of the Oracles hat the seemed to change randomly what phrases it said. This time it was scrolling an ASCII cat face and the words “MEOW IS THE TIME.”
“I am Mixon, I don’t know what is going on, but I need to know.”
The Oracles face lit up.
“Well the story goes as so. Almost 800 years ago, you disappeared. There are many of us here still that know your name. Many of us knew you would come. Many have forgotten. I can not tell you all, but I must tell you what I can. You are here because JJ has made it so. He told us all long ago that he had found a way to harness the power of pizza. What he did with that power was incredible. He rose to power and brought pizza with him. No one knew the power of pizza had such potential, but fuck he did. We all worked together. We never knew our lives would be changed the way they were. Believe it or not we were all friends once. But JJ had other plans. It all began the day you disappeared. One day you never came to work. But JJ did. He said he had an idea for a new pizza. No one knew how he made it, but people loved it. We put it on the menu, people started eating it. The more people ate it, the more powerful JJ became. It seemed to control them. Nothing made sense. JJ started to become powerful, not just in wealth but in impossible ways. Soon after he started his own pizza place, MCP or Midnight City Pizza, in what we used to know as Manhattan. Soon after his pizza filled the bellies of more and more people. JJ started to advance the way pizzas were delivered. Instant delivery became possible through the use of technology nobody understood. Governments and smarter people warned of this technology. Scientists attempted to study it but were unable to unravel how anything worked. But one thing they did know, they loved that fucking pizza, and could NOT. STOP. EATING IT. With instant delivery, it was possible worldwide. With each pizza sold JJ’s power increased. He created the marinara core, a never ending source of impossible power that could deliver unrivaled power. Soon the governments of the world failed. There wasn’t much resistance. Everyone would rather eat the pizza than resist. Those that did, the replicants destroyed them. Powered by the marinara cores, perfectly emulating JJ and expanding on his power, the replicants became the world’s police force and JJ rose to dominate the world in a short time with the smallest struggle.”
Mixon listened to this story intently, and understood perfectly.
“So JJ made me disappear.. into the future?”
The Oracle stepped forward and spoke again.
“No one knew what happened to you. We assumed JJ had killed you. But many started to speak of your return. But one thing is certain, for some reason you are here, and you have already taken down one of the replicants.”
Mixon looked confused as his head began to hurt.
“I have no memory of doing that. I woke up with 200 pounds of mechanical parts up my ass, and an extensive knowledge of pizza, that can devastate the landscape with a mere thought.”
The oracle continued: “You have taken down a replicant. It seems for some reason you have been given the power of the replicants, as you yourself have a marinara core that powers you now. You have met me, and MCADM, two victims of JJ. We were close to him, he promised us power too if we went along with him. Drunk on pizza we accepted but became monsters. MCADM hell bent on delivering became the ultimate delivering machine, but instant delivery made him useless. I, with my hunger for knowledge and stories, became what you see before you, an all knowing mass of information. JJ imparted to me the gift of precognition, a vague sort of knowing all that happens and a sense of story of anything that takes place. I can see pieces of what is but not the whole truth.”
Mixon had many more questions but he listened intently.
“Our time grows short I cannot tell you all but I can tell you this. You must travel to Midnight City. You must kill JJ. None of us knew this would happen. But it has, and for some reason he sent you away instead of killing you. So you must kill him. For all of us. There are more of us. We are out there. Also I must warn you. There is one JJ had spared. His name was Bedrich, but I fear I did not see his plan until now. I fear he may have orchestrated a ploy to turn him against you. Something terrible has happened. He has acquired great power, and blames you for the misfortune. Beware.”
With this the Oracle stopped speaking. Mixon pressed with further questions but the Oracle simply shook his head. ”Our time is over, they are here and its time for you to begin your journey. He has sent three of them. If you truly are our savior, the worlds savior, now is the time to prove it.”
With his final words the ceiling above the oracle erupted. The wires and tubes connecting him to his mass of knowledge came loose and he fell to the ground. Mixon knelt down to help him up.
“Its no use, Im dead in 33 seconds.”
Looking at the brim of his hat reading “Pizza Party Pooper” Mixon stepped back. The rock ceiling around him started to cave in. Thousands of pounds of rock started to rain down, Mixon created a Alfredo sauce shield that encompassed him. He thought of rising crust in the oven and began to rise through the falling debris and out of the earth. Looking below he saw the cavern below completely filling with rock. The sight of the broken Oracle below renewed his rage towards those that cut their time short. Exploding out of the rock and into the noonday sun he was met by three replicants. MCADM was gone. It was time to fight.
